Dunno What I'm Thinking...

Sometimes It's hard to understand myself, especially when I don't knwo what I want. I've been anxious to wait for the last class, the only chance to see him yesterday, and I ended up with a conclusion...I dont wanna see him anymore.....

I was stupid enough that I couldn't find my Japanese Lang. classroom. I gave him a call and decided to find the classroom together. And, while I was waiting for him...I actually found the stupid classroom..It's inside freshman seminar's office!! HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK OF HAVING YOUR SENIOR(4000 level) COURSES TO BE HELD INSIDE THE FRESHMAN (1000 level)SEMINAR'S OFFICE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? I'm glad I'm not the only that got lost. Stupid Stupid Room Assignment!!! ><""" Anyway that's besides the point now...I went back out and waited for him. He came up from the escalator surrounded by a bunch of girls. Oh trust me, I felt like shit at that moment. I never know that I'm THAT sensitive with girls around him... and I hate myself soo much...x_x sigh...

Maybe 4 days in Chicago can clear up my feelings a little bit. And I'm in desperate need of catching up in Japs. For god's sake! I learnt NOTHING in 3000 Level...and I'm having super hugh big time in the 4000 level japanese in business useage ...Can someone pls remind me why (besides to take a class w/ him....x_x") am I taking this class again?????? Urgh!!!!!!!! ><""

凌亂思緒

A lot of things go through my mind write now that I don't know how to express them all at once. I always believe future lies in my hands, I can always get a hold of it if I close my hands. But then, there're always something that keeps me away from believing in myself. I'm such a coward...

I guess I need to take "how-to-gain-self-confidence"101 now...or else I'll never achieve anything in my life.

Sigh...I'm doomed...

When out with someone today, it was a very nice date. I dunno should I called it a date or just gathering. Well~ we had lunch, movie and dinner...but we were just friends, and yet there're only 2 of us...i dunno~ I'll just called it whatever~lolz

I had a very late lunch with him, we were talking about everything and it was a very nice feeling. and I dont really wanna just leave after lunch...so I suggested we should walk around, and he ended up saying we should go watch The Ant Bully( which btw wasn't that good b/c the theatre we went didnt have the 3D version!!)

I have to admit that during the movie...I wasn't 100% focus on the story itself, i kinda realized that I'm sitting right next to him in the dark...and i can sense his breath and his warmth...and I blushed! for god's sake~Even when I went out w/ mr. TP before, I NEVER blush~!! I know I'm soo doomed...........sigh....><"

Afterward, we walked around in Time Square and went to Applebee for dinner...It was same as lunch, we just talk about anything that we could think of...and I couldnt control myself, I was smiling all the time (it's like..making a fool of myself..~_~""""") and it's very noticable that he had to asked me the reason of smiling all the time...x_x""

Today was the first time I spent a whole day with him, and it really got me to face my feelings. I never thought of him as the one that I would fall for, but ever since that stupid dream...I feel very bad of seeing him with someone else, I know I'm really falling this time, but to tell the truth...I'm not liking it...I dont really think I'm ready for anything yet...sigh...again...I'm doomed!

Early Celebration

It was supposed to be a BBQ event @ my house last Sat, turned out my co-workers were planning a birthday party for all the August Birthday Girls~ That's me, Nicko and Karen, Yeah~!! here's the cake...it looked really delicious, isn't it? heheee...

i drank a bottle of corona, 3 bottles of smirnoffs, and a cup of wine..and yet I was awake all the time!! hahahaaa...oh wellz...getting drunk is harder than I thought...We played till 8 am on the next day and went out for early tea..heee~

I came back and went to sleep right away...and I had the weirdest dream..I saw a guy holding hands with a girl, and after I woke up, i felt a little depress for no reason. I dunno...I'm not going to think too much on this...maybe i'm just too tired...X)

anyway~ Thanks to all my CRNY bros and sis'! you guys are the best! =)

BTW, I changed my encoding to Big 5 finally~ all those weird characters are set in unicode...And i dont think they can be read anymore...too bad..=P