Wednesday, August 17, 2005

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Saturday, August 13, 2005

Essay for CWCB

鈭箇��������������������皛蹂�������整�����撟曉��靘�摮�儮���航�賭��敺���望��雿����撌乩��儮�雿�雿����撌乩��憭乩撈��餌�����鈭������������������孵����改��雿����撣詨�������∪�����瘣鳴��雿����撠�雿�������撣怠�餅�臬�����撣貉����剔��鈭箝��銝����儮������拙��靘�摮���賡�W����詨�����撅���g�����撠望�舀��憭抵��撠�������鈭�鈭粹�W葆蝚�摰嫘��憒����閬���函��撖衣����芸楛��W��隞����儮������芸楛撠望����賢��銝�������隞亦�貉�����蝵芸�����

鈭箄��憭改��頞���瑕艙撠���������������扳�����韏瑞Ⅳ��W��鈭箇黎���銝����閬�憭拙予銝�瞍����撌�霈������������脯�����甇∠��撠曹��韏瑞�拙�改��銝����甇∠��撠勗�臭誑敺������⊥����佗�����璅����鈭箏�����敹����銝���典��隞颱��鈭箄圾�����芸楛���銵���綽����港����冽��敹���曆��������靘������芸楛�����折�⊥�����閬���芸楛���敶勗��儮�閬箏��憟賡�����������閬���芸楛蝚����璅�摮�儮����暺����閮���准��憭芷�����雿�儮�憭芷�����儮�憭芷��銝���芰�嗡��������靘������瑞��隞���孵停��舫��鈭����?

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銋���航�賢����粹�����������儮�隞斗����游��������頨恍�������亙楛憟賢�������其�������W��儮����銝���典����格��隞�暻潔犖儮���芾����������芸楛撠勗��鈭�������憟踝�����銝���臭�����鈭箇�刻�芷�W��������������皛輻����曄��銝����������憟踝�����隞������芣��皜⊿��瘥�銝�畾菟��������甇脫��������憟踝��������銝�鈭�隞�������

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man~ a 500+ essay (chinese) is hard to write..

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Mood Test...and daan true....

http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/index.cfm

You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.

You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the bitter end in spite of all opposition.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavor but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

My Thoughts~!
this WHOLE passage points out all the feeling I have right now.....haha! And trust me...I won't let you guys know about the result I took on my birthday~ it's like hell..XD One thing I want to clarify is that...I'm not upset...I'm just at a stage where I can't see my future...I'm nervous and I'm worry too...and trust me I'm not as strong as you think I am... I don't talk about it often because I know I'm not the only one worrying about the life after graduation.

I dont see myself doing anything right, especially these days....I often wondering what am I doing in school studying something that doesnt interest me. That's lots of stuff going through my head now...I'm getting frustrate from all these stuff. Keeping up a happy face all the time doesn't mean that I dont have my own problems...and some people never get that. Why are they so ignorant? How can they be soo inconsiderate and pointing fingers at me saying I'll never understand what they feel because I'm a worry-free girl that doesnt know anything in life?

I'm not proud of having a lot of bad experience in life...That's why I dont usually brag about it. Does that make me a lucky little girl? For god's sake they'll never know how hard to forgive the past and let it go..and make a new start in life. When people know about my family they always said..."oh you were soo young when that happened...no wonder you dont have any feelings about it" These are bull shit....I can't believe people can ignore my feeling just like that.

Anyway~ I'm totally off the topic...haahaa...And I dont know where to pick it up again...I think it's time to stop then~ nite nite heee^^

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Happy Birthday to Myself!!

Happy 20th Birthday~~~!! but then, somehow i don't feel like celebrating it. It's not those "I'm getting soo old" crappy reasons, it's just that...I'm not feeling the happiness in my birthday. For once in my life, I'm tired of hoping others will remember me. It's time for me to grow up.

Anyway la...One of the reason I dont think i can enjoy my birthday is that...I sorta pissed my bro off few days ago. I dunno..I'm tired of acting like a goodie goodie. I can't please anyone if I can't even please myself. Time to give myself a break. A break from EVERTHING.

BTW....thank you SGJ~ hee...I miss your voice soo much! And I can't believe we chat till 3 sth in the MORNING. We both realize that we're not 14 and 17 anymore...that's suck! haha....=) One sister down~! what about my other sis Alice? I miss her soo much. Ever since she left NY... I dont know..I just have this terrible terrible heart ache because of what she has to face in her life. Love BOTH sis soo much!! please take care of yourselves.

One thing that's pretty ironic is that...most of the people that I care about, doesnt really care about me. But people that I dont really give a shit...usually bugs me the most. lolz..

Yay! Happy birthday to myself~!